Happy Holidays
by Tenshi no Nozomi
Summary: FF8/SM crossover. Uhm... not a very actiony-ish fic. Kinda cliche. But Basically, Usagi makes a deal with Seifer in order to try and get Squall's attention. So do I have yours yet? ::Chapter 4's up as of April 25th!!::
1. Chapter One

Happy Holidays  
  
By: Tenshi no Nozomi (tenshi_no_nozomi@hotmail.com)  
  
Warnings: minor angsty-ness, waffy, Usagi-centered, love triangles (and a very small world in the future)  
  
Disclaimer: Standard  
  
AN: Okay, I really need to get this pairing out of my system, or I'm really going to screw up an upcoming story I'm trying to write. . I already made my decision, so I'm trying to hold to it. So, yes, this is going to yet another Squall x Usagi story. But really, people, in comparison, there really aren't all that many of them out there, at least not in comparison to fics in total, or even just Sailor Moon Crossovers. And to spice it up a bit, Squally's gonna have some competition from Seifer! ^.~  
  
Anyhow. I don't feel like bothering to explain my motives. Do I really have to? Have a happy Thanksgiving, peeps! Your gift from me to you.  
  
*---------------------* *---------------------*  
  
Chapter One  
  
The cool air circulated sluggishly throughout the apartment, as though lethargic or unable to find the motivation to move quickly. It was so quiet that you would have thought it to be empty, all but for the repetitive click of the clock and the occasional flip of the page from a reader seated in a teal reclining chair in a corner, seated between a tall, sturdy bookshelf and an end table where a lamp sat turned-on to aid his reading.  
  
A handsome young man was doing the page flipping, curled up in the comfortable, plush teal chair with the golden light casting strange lighting effects on his pale skin. He had unruly hair that looked silky to the touch, but despite the beauty that was possible, it seemed surprisingly- and disappointingly- unkempt.  
  
His stormy, gray blue eyes were hard and impassible, revealing nothing but a somber wall that hid his feelings (though some might say he had none).  
  
His expression was solemn, serious, studying as his eyes scanned through page after page. His mouth was tilted down at the corners in the barest frown, his eyebrows furrowed in a look of not quite consternation.  
  
Squall finally closed his book, and set it down on the table beside his chair and reading lamp. He checked the clock adjacent to him, and saw that she was about an hour late, and the frown that had been tugging at the corners of his mouth grew a bit.  
  
He couldn't ever remember a time in which she had been late, for any reason- she was tardy anywhere else, but never when she was coming over.  
  
At that moment, he heard a soft, scuffling noise at the door- someone fumbling for keys. A moment later, an equally soft click resounded as the lock sprang free. And barely after that, in entered a cheerful looking, petite, blond, young lady.  
  
Her soft, sunshine yellow hair was done up in an odd style, with two buns on the either side of her head- there had been much debate in the past, an people either said they looked like meatballs with spaghetti or else odangoes.  
  
Large cerulean blue eyes peered out from underneath longish bangs- she, too, like many other college students, could not afford to get her hair cut, so she had just taken to letting them grow out instead of going through the hassle.  
  
Her fair, peach skin glistened with melting snow, and she shivered as she kicked the door lightly shut with one foot and shifted the weight of the grocery bags on her hips.  
  
"Brr, it's so cold out there!" she grumbled in only a half-complaint, offering him a benevolent, cheerful smile. He returned it with a cold stare, and a slight nod- yes, he could tell that it was indeed cold out there. Between the thermometer, the snow, and the people with jackets outside, he'd been able to tell.  
  
Instead, he only stated, "You should be more gentle with the door." Instantly, the girl's face changed from cheerful to apologetic. She looked shame faced and bashful, like a dog whom her master had just scolded when she'd done something she'd thought would have pleased him.  
  
"I'm sorry," she murmured as she sat the bag of groceries down on the plastic Formica kitchen table, "but I didn't want to let a draft in, and I didn't have any free hands." He only shrugged in response as he began to put the items away in his pantry.  
  
Usagi sighed and sat down in a chair, looking beat after a long day. If she was expecting sympathy, though, she didn't get it. Instead, she sat there in silence for the next few minutes, waiting until he was finished putting things away.  
  
"Don't you think you should put your heater on, Squall? It's so cold in here, you're going to catch something, for sure," the blonde said, looking around and shivering in jacket. She didn't understand how her friend could put up with the cold temperatures the way he did- Usagi had always been a person who favored summer over winter as a child, and it was doubtful that that would ever change.  
  
"Costs too much," he replied vaguely. Usagi sighed and leaned back in her chair, and Squall could tell by the openly dejected look on her face that something was wrong. "What is it," he finally asked, when he couldn't take it anymore.  
  
Usagi looked up at him, and blinked a few times before answering slowly. "Well, you know, the holidays are coming up, and a lot of people are going to be going home for them," she said, starting off carefully. 'Home' and 'family' had always been tender subjects for Squall.  
  
"But I'm not going, and a bunch of other people decided not to, so we figured that maybe we'd get together on Christmas and New Years and do something together."  
  
For a moment, the silence hung in the air that was thick with tension as well as frigidity. Squall knew where she was going with this, and she already knew the answer to the question. Still, just like she had every time before, she went ahead and asked.  
  
"And, well, a few of us were thinking. well, maybe you'd like to come, too." Her expression looked so hopefully, it would have been enough to break any other person down and come whether or not they wanted to and at least pretend to have fun for her sake.  
  
But not Squall Leonheart.  
  
"No." He replied simply. And the letdown showed openly on her face, which sagged from hopeful to despairing and sad in the breadth of a single word. He wondered why she still bothered to ask, when the answer was always the same.  
  
"But Squall," she started off like she always did, "you never go out. I swear, it won't kill you to have a little fun every once and a while! Everyone asks what's going on with you lately; all you do is go to school and rush home."  
  
Usagi looked perplexed and upset, as though the mere idea of his lackluster social life was disgusting. "I like it that way." He replied stiffly.  
  
He expected more arguments out of her- that's what usually came. But instead, her face sagged further, and she looked almost. old, which startled Squall. "All right, fine, stay home, you party pooper." She practically growled at him, shoving her chair back.  
  
And that was when he realized that he'd managed to make the fairly even- tempered and loving (yes, loving, there was no other word to describe a girl that willingly gave away her hours of potential freedom for sick, clingy, whiny children at a hospital) Usagi mad. It didn't happen very often, but when it did, watch out innocent bystanders- it could be an ugly, dirty fight to witness.  
  
That didn't mean it would last long. Anger rolled in and out of Usagi's system quicker than a Summer storm. One minute she looked mad enough to grind your face into the pavement, and the next she was smiling at you and happy as the hypothetical clam. She'd be over it by morning time, most likely.  
  
He merely shook his head, though- he wasn't the one responsible for her moods, and he wasn't going to just up-and-change his mind because she wanted him to. So she stormed out of his apartment, slamming his precious door behind her for good measure, and left him feeling strange. Hell, he almost felt. guilty.  
  
*--------------------* *--------------------*  
  
At college the next day, Usagi was the one to pass on the disappointing- though not surprising- news on to her friends. Most of them hardly knew him, and just shrugged, but a few of Squall's better, closer friends looked upset.  
  
"Squall's turning into a real recluse," Quistis murmured in thought, looking genuinely troubled. Her elegant brows were furrowed as she chewed absently on her lower up. Her trademark orange dress hung looked as though it might have been a bit cold on her, but she didn't make one word of complaint.  
  
"He won't even listen to his girlfriend," Zell agreed, though he seemed to be distracted with throwing jabs and uppercuts at some imaginary foe. Still, that was how Zell regularly behaved- he couldn't help but be energetic, it was just the way he was. The only things more eccentric than Zell were the clothes he wore.  
  
Usagi blushed, however, at the mention of being Squall's girlfriend. "I'm not," she protested instantly, and perhaps it was automated, "his girl friend."  
  
It was sadly true- there wasn't anything that Usagi wouldn't have given to have Squall look at her with warm, loving eyes (though she'd probably die of a heart attack on the spot). Squall didn't even really look at girls anymore, not since Rinoa. Hell, Squall spent most of his time trying to avoid people in general. That sure didn't stop the girls from looking at him, though.  
  
Seifer grinned in the way that only Seifer could- it was borderline on being reptilian. "I'm sure our fearless leader would much rather us call him a 'lone wolf' to a recluse, though I personally prefer 'hermit,' myself." He made a few dramatic gestures from underneath his white trench coat, and Usagi couldn't help but think that one of these days he'd make a fairly good actor.  
  
It was pity that wasn't his major. Actually. Usagi had no idea what Seifer's future profession was. She didn't know him all that well, not really.  
  
Usagi stifled a giggle; it really wasn't funny, but it was just the way Seifer said it. "You really shouldn't say that," Usagi berated him, though only half-heartedly, because all of the things they were saying were true.  
  
"You laughed." He reminded her nonchalantly. "Besides, if he doesn't care enough about his integrity to show up, then why should I care?"  
  
It was true, in a way. Squall had always been a person who appreciated good, quality time with just himself around, and he wasn't much of a people- person. He chose when he wanted to show up, and generally didn't give a damn about what other people thought. It wasn't his responsibility, he always said.  
  
But about a month or so ago, his visits to talk and sit with them in the sunshine and chat had slowed significantly, and two weeks or so ago, he'd stopped showing up all together. Usagi had heard plenty of rumors from underclassmen about a handsome upperclassman that seemed to haunt the library, so she knew where he was. Still, she knew better than to try and confront him.  
  
Usagi just sighed, and took another sip of her soft drink. The carbonation fizzled and tickled her upper lip and nose, and she had to refrain from sneezing as she swallowed the carbonated liquid.  
  
Silence prevailed for a few minutes, but it was Selphie who broke it. "It's okay, Usagi-chan. Even if Squall won't go, we can still find you a date," the perky girl assured her with a grin. Usually Selphie would have been sitting near or on her boyfriend's lap- Irvine Kinneas- but unfortunately, said flirtatious cowboy was home sick with the flu.  
  
Usagi snorted her Dr.Pepper up her nose, and coughed and snorted, cupping her hand over her nose while her friends tried to stifle their laughs. Usagi reached for a napkin, wiping the dripping liquid from her nose with great distaste as she tried to ignore the tiny tears of pain that pricked at the edges of her eyes.  
  
She wiped the mess away, trying to regain what little dignity she had left, but even Quistis was chuckling. Usagi glared at them, standing with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Whoah, you've been hanging around Squall for too long," Zell joked. "She's picking up on things, guys- next we know, she'll be walking around like she has bed head!"  
  
Usagi giggled at this. The grin on Zell's face was enough for Usagi to know that he was just kidding, so it was okay- and the thought of herself walking around school with her hair in a total disarray was funny.  
  
"You're really one to talk, chicken wuss," Seifer drawled, looking amused but 'too cool' for such an emotion. Instantly, like always, Zell was getting defensive and hoping around and twitching like he was going to beat the crap out of Seifer.  
  
Usagi laughed happily; completely oblivious to the fact that she was being watched.  
  
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Yay! Chapter One's done! :does tnn's victory dance: ^^ Yippee. So, what did you think? Boring? :sigh: It seems a lot of my fics have very little action. But I happen to be deeply rooted in emotional development, and stuff.. Oh, well. Can't change that.  
  
Anyhow, I hope that y'all enjoyed that, and please don't forget to review or drop me a line via email now that you've finished the chapter. 


	2. Chapter Two

Happy Holidays  
  
By: Tenshi no Nozomi (tenshi_no_nozomi@hotmail.com)  
  
AN: Yeah, I realize that this is ahead of the holidays, but I'm going to be like K-Mart/Wal-Mart/any other department store and be prepared early. :grins: Who knows, I might even actually finish it this holiday. then I could actually I say I've completed a fic besides a bunch of one-shots! ^^;;; Unfortunately, due to my 'laziness-factor'. it's very unlikely. *pouts* Damn me.  
  
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Chapter Two  
  
The library was what Squall considered to be his home-away-from-home at this place. At first, the musty, damp-pages smell of the place had been almost overpowering, but with time, he'd grown accustomed to it.  
  
Honestly, it was a wonderful place to go. It was silent and virtually almost empty, with no one but the librarian to bother him or the occasional passerbys who wanted Internet access or books or privacy. It was a great place to go and study or just to go to be alone, as Squall had found, and the books there were interesting and surprisingly informative.  
  
So Squall had begun to spend his free time between classes here, studying and reading about various things. He had hardly even realized that he'd been drifting away from his friends, and that he was missed among them. About a week ago, Usagi had brought it up on coincidence, but he still hadn't done anything about it.  
  
Today, though. somehow, sitting in the shadows, wasting away wasn't what he wanted. He wanted to go outside, even though the weather was blustery from the onset of winter. Wanted to listen to his friends joke and poke fun at everyone, even if he didn't say anything. He just wanted to be in someone's presence.  
  
So he'd wandered out to the courtyard, where they sat on stone and marble benches everyday, except when it was stormy out. He could hear their voices drifting over to where he stood, and listened carefully from the entry way shadows.  
  
When Zell had suggested that Usagi was his girlfriend. He knew Usagi well enough to know that she was probably blushing while she denied it. For some reason, her denial stuck in his mind, and bothered him.  
  
He was used to being called a loner, and the word 'recluse' had been brought up a few times- and Seifer was right, he did prefer the 'lone-wolf' term. However, they'd never called him a hermit, even when they were teasing him, and for some reason, it heated his blood with irritation.  
  
When Usagi laughed at it, despite the fact that she scolded Seifer, it hurt him and pissed him off at the same time. Partly because he knew she had only been half-hearted when she had told him not to say those things, and partially because she had laughed at him, like he was nothing but a joke to her. Though why it mattered to him at all what she thought, he couldn't figure for the life of him.  
  
The next thing that was said wiped his anger clear off the board- it was Selphie, of course, who told Usagi that it would be all right even though he wouldn't come; they'd find her another date. That got under his skin- the idea of Usagi dancing and laughing with some unknown guy, and it also made him wonder just what his friends were trying to get at.  
  
His eyes narrowed absently, and he ignored the rest of the conversation, focusing in on Usagi, who was wiping away the mess she'd managed to make with her Dr. Pepper. Usagi was innocent, despite her age- if some guy made a move on her or tried something, she probably wouldn't have figured it out till it was too late.  
  
What got him the most, though, was the thought that Selphie wasn't a half- bad matchmaker, and whoever she set Usagi up with. Usagi was going to be bound to like him, and. He shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.  
  
Why did he care? Usagi was a friend, yes, but she was old enough to take care of herself. She lived in her own apartment, for Christ's sake, and worked part-time. The girl had met enough 'sleeze balls,' as she called them, at her waitress job to know one when she saw one.  
  
And yet. despite it all, despite even the fact that he had never been able to make himself love anyone after Rinoa, the thought of her with someone else made him ache. It pissed him off, and it made him nostalgic. He felt like he was running in mental circles, and that was maddening enough on its own.  
  
Because there was, of course, the subject of Rinoa. That was exactly how he'd lost her, too- she had met someone and fallen head-over-heels in love, and just up and left, with hardly a goodbye. There had never even been any thought about the fact that Squall was just starting to trust people again, just 'I love someone else, goodbye,' and she was gone just like that, leaving him tossed out in the cold like yesterday's newspaper.  
  
He'd known she hadn't meant to hurt him, that had never been an objective of hers. Rinoa was just as sweet and good and honest a person as Usagi was, but she had left him. Had left his heart torn to shreds after he'd finally learned to trust and to love again.  
  
'Again,' because all children were born innocent and naïve to the pains of the world, once, before their hearts and the skin on the bottoms of their feet toughened together. Sometimes, he wondered what that must have felt like- to love completely and totally, to love people despite all of their faults.  
  
He watched the group disperse, until only Usagi remained seated before moving. Instantly, the change from the frigid shadows to the light-gilded area made him wince; the rays of the sun were blinding, although they did warm his frozen skin.  
  
He walked across the deadened ground and concrete sidewalk, making his way to her, wearing his usual scowl on his face. He didn't know exactly was he intended to tell her- there wasn't much to say.  
  
Still, though, he wanted to talk- there was a feeling of irritation bubbling up inside of him, and he knew that it was at least partially her fault. She was absorbed in her work, though, up until he cast his cold, dark shadow over her.  
  
And then, surprised and mildly harassed eyes greeted him, though the expression in them changed to a sort of pleased-excited emotion when she recognized who it was. She swept her long bangs out of her face, and offered him a small smile.  
  
"Squall! Where've you been? Everyone just left," she said, though there was an amount of dismay in her voice, and she looked in the direction that everyone had departed in, as though she was unsure if she should be going after them before Squall disappeared back into whatever hole he'd crawled out of.  
  
"I know," he replied simply, staring down at her with his hard, cadet blue eyes. Usagi had never been a particularly 'womanly' girl. She didn't have extraordinary curves that made men look twice, or a sexy attitude mingled with witty-banter that hinted on innuendo. But she didn't need it.  
  
She was petite, possessing a small and girlish frame with only a few subtle curves in the right places- still she didn't look sickly thin. Her creamy golden-peach colored skin seemed to exude a healthy glow, and her complexion was unmarred. Bright cerulean eyes peered at him inquisitively, framed by golden lashes. The most dramatic thing about Usagi was her unusual and childish hairstyle, which fell down to ankles and was lavished with care despite the fact that she couldn't afford a haircut.  
  
Right now, she was dressed in a golden sweater, thick and warm looking, that accentuated the color of her hair and helped to obscure the fact that she had been looked over in the curves department. Khaki pants hung on her tightly, though in the waist it looked as though the pants might have hung too loosely if there wasn't for the slim, black belt that held it in place. And on her feet she wore black leather hiking boots that looked comfortable and well worn.  
  
"Then why.?" Her question petered off, unasked but understood.  
  
He sat down in front of her, staring at her with his intense gray blue eyes. "Why did you laugh at me?" Why, he asked himself, did it matter, anyhow? People were meant to be self-sufficient- in his opinion he didn't need anyone else. Still, the thought of her head tilted back as she laughed with everyone.  
  
"W-what do you mean," she asked, obviously flustered under his gaze. In fact, she was blushing from his inspection, and looking unsure.  
  
Squall's eyes darkened with disgust. "You don't even remember?"  
  
"N-no," she stammered, looking honest. At least she had the decency to look shame-faced.  
  
"With the lot of them, earlier. Why did you defend me when you didn't mean it," he asked, gripping the edges of his seat tight, inspecting, boring his eyes past her skin to soul.  
  
It clicked, then, what he said, and she appeared honestly confused. "What do you mean, 'didn't mean it?' Squall, I did mean it!"  
  
He just shook his head, feeling disappointed. She hadn't, not really. If she had, she wouldn't have laughed. He got up, his angry silence his only answer, and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his bomber jacket before starting to walk away.  
  
"Squall," she cried startled, and in protest. She got up after him, starting after him. She reached out for his retreating form, but stopped, feeling lost and upset and as though he was out-of-reach.  
  
She sighed, and picked up her things in preparation of leaving. No reason to stay when her classes were over for the next few hours, and she'd managed to upset the person she considered to be her best friend. She cast one last, sullen, unhappy glance in the direction he'd disappeared in, before leaving.  
  
*--------------* *--------------*  
  
".And he just up and left," she concluded, before taking in another drink of her hot chocolate and continuing walking. The warm stuff filled her up and made all the cold, numbed parts of her feel warm again. And right now, it wasn't just the physical sensation that plagued her, but the emotional impression that she'd screwed up badly.  
  
Usagi didn't have a lot of people to talk to anymore, what with all the scouts having gone to other places. Meeting up with Selphie and Quistis and the others the year she'd started college had been relief- it has been more than a little scary being eighteen and all on her own.  
  
Still, she hadn't counted on relaying the recent turn of events to Seifer. Sure, the guy could make her laugh, but she didn't know hardly anything about him. However, when she'd come to her last resort of talking to either him or Zell about it- Selphie was babying Irvine (who was probably milking the whole thing to its full potential) and Quistis being too busy preparing for midterms, she had broken down and called him.  
  
To her great surprise, he'd actually agreed to come to the mall with her- a place that she figured no man could really relish- and talk to her about her emotional burdens. Seifer had always struck her as a witty guy, but it turned out there was a sweeter, more sentimental side to him- he'd even bought her the hot chocolate that she was currently drinking.  
  
She cast a sidelong glance at him, taking in his appearance. His rakish, short blonde hair didn't look bad on him. Like Squall, his expression always seemed to be set into a serious frown, cold bright-blue eyes narrowed constantly under his eyebrows. His mouth was caught in that perpetual look of resentment, and he held himself with an air of importance and dignity, maybe even cruelty.  
  
"It sounds like," he said at last, "Squall's found who he wants to be his next girlfriend."  
  
Usagi snorted in surprise, and found the burning liquid caught in the wrong tub. Usagi coughed, and Seifer waited until she had gotten her bearings again. Usagi flushed at the looks a few passerbies were giving her, but tried to ignore them. "What," she finally managed to rasp, "did you say?"  
  
Seifer flashed her a rare grin, and repeated himself. "I said, 'Squall's found who he wants to be his next girlfriend,'" he said pointedly, looking at her.  
  
Usagi's cheeks lit up into flames. "You're not suggesting that."  
  
"Well, don't you think it's odd, that he won't even bother to talk to the rest of us, and he lets his panties get all twisted out of shape over the fact that you laughed at him?" Usagi shook her head, unsure what to believe.  
  
"That's no true," she denied. "Squall's never even hinted at something like that- we're just friends. And I don't think he wears panties either."  
  
"And THAT would be because Squall has the worst set of communication skills that I've ever seen anyone possess. Not to mention that he still has those ideas running around in his head that he doesn't need anyone but himself to get along in life."Seifer looked serious, and he'd even looked over the 'panties' comment for the moment. She had thought for sure he'd rise to the bait on that one.  
  
Usagi watched Seifer's face for a few minutes, as though waiting for him to bust up into laughter and say, 'you actually thought I was serious? Ha!' but he had resumed his serious attitude. "That's just." Usagi couldn't find the words, and merely shook her head.  
  
"That's not possible," she finally said, her words sounding almost self- condemning. "Squall hasn't said a single thing in two years, or even hinted that he likes me- not even in body language. I'd be better off asking you out on a date," Usagi spat out. After a few minutes, she realized what she said sounded mean, and she amended for it, blushing with shame. "Sorry," she apologized.  
  
He merely waved it off with the brush of his hand. "Bah, everybody knows that girls prefer guys like Squall to the rest of us- though God only knows why, I'll never know; just why the hell would you want all that extra mental and emotional baggage. Rinoa chose him over me, too, so it's no surprise. Though Rinoa did choose some other guy over him, too," he said almost thoughtfully.  
  
That was a small surprise to Usagi. Just how many times did this Rinoa switch 'serious boyfriends,' anyhow? She hadn't just dated Squall, but Seifer, too? In the back of her mind, she felt a nagging, guilty sensation like she should be comforting Seifer, saying that he just hadn't met the right kind of girl yet, but she never really got the chance.  
  
He placed an arm around Usagi's shoulders, which surprised her to no end. "But never mind that- it's been kind of sickening watching you follow him around like a little lost puppy." Usagi made an indignant noise, though he shushed her with a snort. "Doing his grocery shopping for him? I know the guy's a recluse and wants to be all by himself, but don't help him to hole up on himself, my dear.  
  
"What you, need," he continued as he steered her back outside, " is a plan to get the moron to wake up and smell the coffee, and spill the beans or whatever. And you're just in luck- you came to the right person." He seemed to puff up with pride, and Usagi couldn't help but giggle slightly.  
  
"So just leave it to me, and I'll help you win that blind little anti- social head-case over," he said, before strolling off.  
  
Usagi waved goodbye to him in return when he turned back to wave to her, and then ran through the parking lot to car, feeling light and giddy. It was true; despite the fact that she had worked hard to throw herself at other men for the past two years, she had been very 'hung-over' Squall Leonheart.  
  
It ran deeper than a crush, of course, but it wasn't an obsession that took up all of her day. No, rather it was a nagging, dull ache in her chest that made itself known at the beginning and end of each day. The thought of these emotions being reciprocated made her feel hot and cold all over at once, and as though new energy was bubbling through her with no source but itself.  
  
What, though, she couldn't help but wonder, was his big plan?  
  
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Kwa! Chappie two's done. What do you people think? Should I drop it, and just work on some of my other fics? 


	3. Chapter Three

Happy Holidays  
  
By: Tenshi no Nozomi (tenshi_no_nozomi@hotmail.com)  
  
Chapter: 3  
  
Disclaimer: Standard  
  
AN: Whoo! I'm on a roll! ^^ Fwee, can you tell I'm pleased with myself? I've been pretty productive. Maybe it's cuz the fic's just about as unoriginal as it can possibly get? Lol. But even I can admit it's pretty cliché.  
  
I think after this I may take a brief break to work on Given and TV Troubles, and probably Good Enough as well, but after that, you can probably expect another chapter of this. Eh, uhm, on second thought, you'll probably get this update before TV Troubles will- those chapters tend to run up to twelve pages long. :: sweatdrop ::  
  
Warnings: Some suggestive dialogue, cliché-ness  
  
Anyhow, please enjoy, but don't forget to review!  
  
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Usagi awoke the next day with the same electric, excited feelings percolating around in her veins and head. It was almost too much for her- she felt almost like a teenager again! That thought sent her into a flurry of thankful half-prayers that THAT experience in her life was over.  
  
Indeed, the stage that bridged from adolescence to womanhood had been painstaking, filled with the trials of boys, moodiness, inadequacies, and heartache. She had no doubt in her mind that if she had to face down those same trials again, she'd just hang herself first.  
  
Usagi sipped the tea out of her mug thoughtfully. Despite it all, through all the bad times, and the sleepless nights, and the painful truths and moments of mind-blowing pain, it had been worth it. There had always been some bright point to make it worth it- when her boyfriend failed her, she turned to her friends. When even they failed her, she could still count on food to console her.  
  
Usagi smiled softly, almost wistfully, to herself. Everything changed, and that was the only thing that stayed the same in life.  
  
Enough of the philosophy, she scolded herself. She set her empty cup down, and readjusted her thick, loose, black sweater. She was pleased with the way its neck pooled around her, making her thin neck look sleek and elegant, and the way the sleeves came down to her knuckles.  
  
She smiled to herself, grabbed her book bag, and hurried to her junker of a car. Usagi was lucky to have friends that would help to pay for her tiny apartment instead of making her live in a dormitory. It was part of their deal- if Usagi went to college and made it all the way through, they'd pay for her apartment. It was too good an opportunity to pass up.  
  
Traffic was unusually slow and stressful. By the time Usagi got to the campus, she was more than relieved. There was nothing like road rage at eight in the morning, she decided, and that was just about one thing she could do without.  
  
Usagi parked her car in a spot, and prayed that when she was done in the afternoon her car would start up again. It had given her grief when she had tried to start up first thing, and the motor would turn over, sputter, and then die on her repeatedly. It had finally gone, and Usagi had been tremendously relieved. Now it was her hope that she wouldn't have to call someone to tow her when she wanted to leave.  
  
Usagi hurried out of her car. She was running a bit later than usual because of the odd flow of traffic today, and she wouldn't have very long to talk to her friends, even if she did hurry. And above that, Squall was out there! Actually out there, instead of lurking in the library, or whatever it was he did. It figured that the day he would decide to go out and be somewhat social that she would be late.  
  
She began to make her way toward them, and was unexpectedly taken by her elbow and maneuvered in the other direction. "Wha"- Usagi began, and was greeted to the sight of Seifer, wearing his trademark trenchcoat, who was smirking cleverly. Cleverly, almost reptilian, and in such a way that she couldn't help but feel that it would be dirty for her NOT to blush.  
  
"What are you doing," she hissed, trying to take her arm back to no avail. He was strong- stronger than she'd thought he was. He was pulling her toward one of the buildings, only it was too quickly for her- his stride was longer than hers, and she was lugging a ten plus pound bag filled with books and work and notes. She was having trouble keeping up with him and breathing at the same time while he ate up the ground.  
  
"Play along, dear, it's part of the game," he replied, flashing her another grin that was purely-Seifer. What game, she asked herself, but didn't bother asking him. It occurred to her that he was talking about the deal they'd made the night before. It also occurred to her at about the same time that perhaps she was in over her head. All she could do, though, was blush like an idiot.  
  
*-------------------* *-------------------*  
  
Selphie had been laughing, having a good time. Despite the fact that she wasn't really a morning person, and neither was her pooky bear- Irvine-, she was happy. Then again, everyone said she was happy and upbeat. To her it was normal, but whatever floated their boats.  
  
Zell had teased Squall about his pallor- the boy was unusually pale, despite the fact that it was winter- and Irvine had commented that Squall looked about as good as he had yesterday. Which was, in Selphie's opinion, a huge lie because even though Irvine was anything but bad looking, Squall could beat him out wearing nothing but a trash bag. Maybe even if there was still trash in it.  
  
It did not help that Irvine was still getting over his illness, and had a nose so red he could have challenged Rudolf to a contest to see who's nose would outshine the other's and won.  
  
Still, Selphie had always been a firm believer of the saying 'Dance with the one that brought you,' and in relation with the current situation, she took Irvine's side on the matter. She had not missed the loving look he'd passed her momentarily.  
  
She'd laughed, when the sight of Usagi had caught her eyes. She was wearing a pair of jeans and that nice sweater they'd found one day when they were shopping together. She was making a bee-line toward them, their little group, and Selphie had opened her grinning mouth to call out to her.  
  
It was a bit obvious, in Selphie's opinion, just how much Usagi liked Squall. Had liked him from the beginning, had sunk for him faster than the Titanic. It seemed kind of sad to her that Squall couldn't even see that there was a young lady right in front of him that was more than willing- and probably capable, from what she'd seen- of helping him to forget Rinoa.  
  
It might have been pathetic, except that it was so sweet. The way she'd look when they talked about him, the way she tried to stand up for him. Squall was blind, and he needed help, but it would be for the best if the two stumbled into love on their own.  
  
Still, she couldn't help but want to help the blond in her quest sometimes. Squall was slipping further and further everyday, as much as she hated to admit it. And if someone didn't pull him back quick, then they might lose him for good. That someone, Selphie had decided, would do well if it were Usagi.  
  
That was when the strangest thing in the world happened. Usagi was no longer walking toward them, as though she had tunnel vision and a need-to- speed, but she was headed towards the building. As in inside- to the area that was notoriously dubbed the make-out area.  
  
And being led there by no other person than. Seifer Almassy.  
  
Selphie couldn't help the fact that she was gaping. Usagi, going to the make-out area? With Seifer? Now, maybe with Squall, if the guy could ever work up the nerve, or if Usagi decided to become a dominatrix (which would be thoroughly amusing to see)... but Seifer?  
  
Seifer Almassy, the guy who hadn't touched a girl since Rinoa? Seifer, who was generally too busy practicing with his gunblade- whatever the hell he'd decided to name the stupid thing; and what was up with that, men naming their weapons and cars? Did they think that by naming it they were going to wake up some day and find that their favorite inanimate object had become a living, breathing wet dream, or what?- so that he could beat Squall to notice girls.  
  
Somehow, though, it didn't seem all that odd. Or wouldn't later, when she'd recovered from the shock. Seifer stealing away Squall's girlfriend- just a way to provoke him into fighting with him. It would figure; guys were just insensitive like that.  
  
"Oh. my God," Selphie finally said, feeling funny all over, like she was stumbling through molasses. C'mon, c'mon, her brain piped up, speeding around as ever, get it out, damn it! Seifer could end up hurting her.  
  
"What," Quistis asked, looking concerned. "What's wrong?"  
  
Zell was staring at her, and Irvine looked a bit worried, and even Squall was kind of looking at her strangely, as though he wasn't sure if he should be backing a little further away in case she decided that she'd become oddly ill.  
  
"I just saw the strangest thing," Selphie finally managed to get out. C'mon, c'mon, you're not supposed to be in a daze anymore, girl! Snap out of it, quick, before Seifer corrupts Usagi, or something!  
  
"What is it," Irvine asked, urging her on. How sweet, that her own personal Rudolf was so worried about her. She'd be sure to give him a backrub at a later date.  
  
"I just saw Tsukino Usagi being pulled toward the make-out area by Seifer Almassy," she murmured, meeting their eyes. Finally, it took you long enough! Sheesh, girl, no wonder everyone thinks you can be such a ditz at times, she lectured herself.  
  
"WHAT!?" The cry came in almost perfect unison, and Selphie cringed. Quistis was now standing up to her fullest height, trying to get a glimpse of what Selphie had reported. Perhaps it wasn't too late?  
  
Irvine looked dumbstruck, Zell looked like he just couldn't believe it. But Squall's reaction was the most interesting.  
  
Because suddenly, he looked tense enough to snap at any second. His cadet blue eyes looked stormy, and unless Selphie was in desperate need of glasses or psychiatric help- which she might have believed for herself, considering what she might have hallucinated- his hands were clenched into tight fists.  
  
Like he was ready to fight Seifer for her honor, or something. Which would have been cute, if not endearing. But if he were fighting over her as though she were an object, well, then, that would have to be called a 'no- no.'  
  
"Oh my God, I don't believe it," Quistis muttered. Apparently, she had gotten an eyeful of what Selphie had. Or maybe more? Selphie cringed inwardly at the though.  
  
"C'mon, we need to get over there, quick," the girl said before parting the morning crowds incredibly like Moses had supposedly done to the Red Sea. It was definitely a skill Selphie wouldn't have minded having.  
  
*--------------------* *---------------------*  
  
The make-out area. Usagi simply couldn't believe it. Of all the places he'd brought her, it had to be here? Why not the cafeteria, or the girl's restroom, or some place quieter? The library would have done well, even though it was currently probably swarming with Squall's fan club, hoping to get more than a glare from the silent boy.  
  
Which made her heart ache. If she were to ever to go to a public place that was known as a hang-out for people who wanted to exchange spit, it would have had to have been with Squall. So what, she asked herself, was she doing her with Seifer, of all people?  
  
"Seifer," she finally managed to get out, voicing her concern, "have you lost your mind?" Usagi could feel her anger building, and once it had worked itself up, everyone had best watch out. Including that couple over in the corner who looked like they had moved beyond the stage of kissing and were sending her dirty looks.  
  
What, so talking was like causing a commotion here? So what, speech is now in second to exchanging spit? Gross.  
  
"Nope," he said, watching the doors, as though he were waiting for some kind of sign. How comforting- so this whole thing was a play, staged for dramatics? Lovely. Seifer wasn't helping her, he was preparing to turn her life into a soap opera.  
  
"Look, Seifer, whatever your master plan is, I don't think it's all that great of an idea. Really. Because I have a really bad feeling about this, and if you even dare make a move on me, whether you mean it or not, you will never be able to have children-"  
  
"Ouch, so violent," he said, grinning after in an almost snide way. "No wonder Squall likes you; your personality is about as winning as his is." Usagi felt stung by this remark. She was not a bad person, nor was Squall, and Seifer made it sound like they were straight out of Roald Dahl's "The Twits," what with all that sarcasm.  
  
She wasn't all that concerned with what Seifer thought of them, but she felt like she ought to defend herself, and Squall too, since he was absent.  
  
"Ah, the cavalry has arrived," he announced, sounding utterly- and dreadfully- delighted. He spun around, and rubbed his gloved hands together before placing them by either side of her head against the wall. "Ready for your big scene," he murmured, almost purring, even though he looked and sounded like he was still just playing with her.  
  
Usagi blushed slightly, and squirmed. "Can't we just talk this over, first," she begged, hating the fact that she sounded whiny.  
  
He laughed softly, before murmuring 'no.' and then he kissed her.  
  
It had been over two years since she had last been kissed. That said about all there was to say about her love life. It was about as close to zero as it could possibly get without actually being zero. As for Mamoru, well, he'd never been all that great. Not with her, anyhow.  
  
Usagi felt like her head was swimming, caught in the clouds. He had wonderfully soft lips, tentative and lush and warm. He knew what he was doing, it was apparent; from the way he gently tilted her head to just the right angle with a single finger and deepened it, to the way he slowly convinced her to allow his tongue entrance.  
  
It was sweet and chaste, and wonderful and pure. And at the same time, it was exhilarating, and her heart was pounding, and she wanted more. And she was out of it, down for the count- K.O'd; heads she lost and tails he won.  
  
It was innocent and seductive at the same time, sending her head for a whirl- it was like the soft, throaty, almost sensual purr from a cat; the sound of the rain hitting glass in a delicate composition that could never be quite repeated. Shaken and delirious, and loving every minute of it.  
  
It ended very suddenly, and Usagi was vaguely away that there were some angry words being said. Why? She tried to concentrate, but couldn't- not even on Squall. It wasn't that she'd forgotten that he was there- she knew he was, just in the same way she knew that Seifer was shielding her from their view.  
  
It was all a piece of her, or maybe a greater knowledge. And since when had she become so philosophical and poetic? It was just one kiss, even if it had been more than she had expected, and she loved Squall. Yes, she could feel the steady ache for him in her chest, burning her slowly from the inside out.  
  
She was aware that she was being steered away, and that Seifer was guiding her gently and had taken her backpack- thankfully- for her. It was strange, that a person could be so cold and mean and yet act kindly and kiss like that. There had to be more to Seifer Almassy than met the eye, Usagi was suddenly sure.  
  
And curiosity had a grip on her, and she wondered just how long they could tiptoe around this game that was obviously much bigger than they though. While they felt like they were chess gurus, they were really just pawns, being moved by bigger forces around them. Who was to say just how much they could lose in one turn?  
  
Still, it might be worth it. At least, just to see if Seifer's plan would work. And Usagi supposed that, for now at least, she'd forgive him for doing what she forbade him to do since it had been so nice. For now, anyway.  
  
*--------------------------------*  
  
Ehh? :blinks sleepily: Just what the hell did I write.? This is what happens when you listen to ATB and eat uncooked Ramen cuz you're too damned lazy and tired to fix anything, and you're half asleep while typing and you know that you've got company coming tomorrow so mom's gonna wake you up bright and early so that you can get your fricking room cleaned.  
  
Eegads, I am exhausted. I'm so thankful that school's out for Thanksgiving- I would have never gotten all of that churned out (and certainly not in one night, no less) if it weren't for my break. And I'll probably get some more done tomorrow, and the next day; I'm actually pretty serious about trying to get this done by the time January rolls around. or something.  
  
Anyhow. please review or send me an email to my addy. It makes me a very happy person. 'Specially since I work so hard to make people happy. ::falls asleep::  
  
Replies to Previous Reviews (as of 12-5-2002)  
  
Angel-Goddess: Kwa, well, I don't mean to let people down. It's just that I get a bit busy, and stuff.. ^^;;; Well, I hope this met your expectations, even if it is just one chapter.  
  
MoonGoddess44@aol.com: I hope this is soon enough for you. I can't get things out much faster than this- my attention's pretty divided.  
  
Lunar Soldier: Never played any of the FF games? Ooh. They're really good. You'd probably enjoy it.  
  
Yuki Kamatoki: lol. :: sweatdrop :: But that takes all of the fun out of it! Besides, TVT takes a long time for me to get out, and I am working on GE. just not very quickly... ^.^;; And I think you can probably tell the answer to your question by now, right? I'm so predictable. Oh, well.  
  
Sapphire skies: Alright, I didn't drop it! See?  
  
Celestial DreamBlaze: lol, you bad girl you! :: shakes finger :: But honestly, who am I gonna tell? Lol. I'll put some thought into it, okay? And you never know, I may decide to make the pairing by Seifer + Usagi. Ya never know..  
  
Dark Sapphire Angel: Well, since you asked so nicely...  
  
Aniki and Bunny: ::grins:: Thanks a bunch. So are there two of you signed on at once?  
  
Bayden: I hope this was soon enough for your satisfaction.  
  
Skye: Yeah, I know what you mean about none of the others being finished. It's kinda disappointing.. But this will probably take a long time to finish, just so you know.  
  
Momoko: O.O Oh my goodness, please don't cry! :: hands you a hankie :: See, I continued it! See? 


	4. Chapter Four new!

**Happy Holidays**  
  
**By:** Tenshi no Nozomi (tenshi_no_nozomi@hotmail.com)  
  
**Chapter Four**  
  
**Warnings:**  
Slight ooc-ness on Usagi's behalf.  
  
**Author's Notes:**  
  
Italics stand for thoughts, and are found written in first person.  
  
A few people seem to have gotten afraid that I'm quitting this fic. To answer that, no, I'm not. Just because it's not on my immediate stats doesn't mean that I don't work on it all the same. Also, I'm not quitting it just because it's out of season now. That would be extraordinarily stupid of me.  
  
A lot of people seem to get impatient with me as time goes by… All I have to say is, please cool your jets! I have a lot of projects that I'm working on at once, plus schoolwork. And believe it or not, fanfiction writing is a hobby. Meaning, other things in my life take precedence over it.   
  
And people still seem to assume that I'm going to pair Usa up with Squall. Does no one listen to me at all…? I'm just starting this fic up, people, give me a chance to get the ball rolling- Squall may be the main, angsty character but that means jack to me. Just don't upset me, or I might pull something really stupid and have her elope with Raijin in the end. Hah! Wouldn't that be a twist?  
  
Oh, and yes… I make Seifer out into a not-so-nice guy, but the truth is, I really like his character. You'll probably see an improvement in him sooner or later.  
  
I may seem like a total bitch, but sometimes I get very upset with people, and although I don't mean to be offensive… people just don't have a habit of listening when I'm nice. -_-  
  


****

  
  
Squall was pissed. Hell, he was seething, and he wanted to rip just about everybody's heads off and use them for target practice. He'd hang them from tree branches, he'd decided, and let them bob in the wind like disgusting, out-of-season Halloween decorations.  
  
And Seifer's would be the first one hanging.   
  
Usagi was, after all, a friend, right? Friendship was always a strange thing for Squall to deal with. Companionship wasn't exactly what he was always after, and people always seemed to think that he wanted them around. Not true, but no matter how many times he tried to explain this in his own, unique way, they ignored it.  
  
Usagi was different, though. She didn't push her limits, but she always there. He could tell that sometimes she put herself out for him, and there were times that he made her feel awkward and depressed, but she'd never given up on him and just decided, 'You're not worth the trouble, I don't know what I ever saw in you.'  
  
One way or another, everyone else had the habit of saying that. His father had given him up for adoption; his friends had given up on him as a person and had left him to do what he wanted, whether it was good or bad; even Rinoa had given up on him in the end and had left him for her 'ideal man.'  
  
Usagi hadn't, though. She'd hung back when she thought she was fighting a battle that she couldn't win, but she still tried, despite previous situations. The other night had been proof enough of it to him, and despite the fact that he was still irritated at her, at least she had tried.  
  
He hadn't really thought about it before, but he was getting older now. He'd lived for almost twenty years a life that was like an island- he was around people all the time, a sea of them, but he was always alone.   
  
Rinoa had helped him to come out of that shell, to show him that it didn't matter what people thought of him, so long as he had a good opinion of himself. But in truth, Rinoa had been his crutch, a support that he could lean on. As soon as she was gone, he'd collapsed in on himself again, become introverted and cold in the eyes of everyone around him, his own self included.  
  
A relapse, some people said. Those very same people insisted that someone was bound to be able to help him again. But Squall wasn't sure. Rinoa had been special, and he'd lost her. In truth, he wasn't positive that he wanted another person to lead him out and then abandon him.  
  
Abandon him… like his father had… and like Rinoa had. There was too much hurt in relationships. Too much pain when they decided he wasn't worth their trouble anymore.   
  
_I hate the part of me that's still the little boy crying in the rain, waiting for Daddy to come back._  
  
He closed his eyes, and surrounded himself with vast emptiness. It was better to be walled off and alone forever, to grow old in silence than to suffer that again, he had decided after Rinoa had left.   
  
When Usagi had waltzed into his life, he hadn't taken her adoring looks seriously. He had purposely ignored and avoided them, brushing away the possibility of a second salvation to protect himself. And now… had he avoided her pursuits one too many times? Would she leave him, too… And for Seifer?  
  
But he didn't really have anyone else to blame, not really. It was his own fault for pushing her away, when what he really wanted was… And so he felt like ripping everything to pieces.  
  


**  
  


Seifer was having a pretty good day, if anyone had to ask. He was playing a game of chess, and he was the master. All of the people around him had turned into insignificant pawns, and so long as he played them right, he would win.v _But people are harder to play with than chess pieces,_ he reminded himself. _They can be stupid and decent and innocent, but they're not blind. Eventually they can catch on, so you have to be extra careful._  
  
It was all a thrill to him. All a delicious flavor that he was enjoying. Who would have thought that decent people were so easy to play?  
  
It was true, though. Usagi had no other motive in this other than to get Squall to love her. It was pathetic, really, but in a strange way, the look she got in her eyes whenever they talked about Squall was cute. Cute, but stupid- why the hell bother to get caught up in emotions and attached to people when they would only end up leaving you?  
  
It was foolish, really, to trust someone that was almost a total stranger. But that was what Usagi was- a trusting, innocent little girl. Somehow, despite the fact that most people would say that these were miracle attributes that most people did not have anymore and should be protected, it made him feel frustrated with her.   
  
It was all worth it, though, to see the look on Squall's face when he'd walked in. The others were laughable, for sure, but Squall was the one he truly wanted to get. And get him he had- for once the quiet boy looked shocked and hurt, and at the same time, there was a growing force of anger bubbling up under the surface, turning his blue eyes into a hurricane.  
  
Who would have ever thought that the only thing he had to do to get Squall to stop playing around would be to steal his little girlfriend? It was laughable. If he'd known this earlier, he would have cut to the chase, seduced her, and gotten his desired fight.   
  
For a brief moment, a dark hurtful thought flashed across his mind. _How does it feel, Squall? To have the one thing you care most about leave you?_ He fought it off uneasily, and returned to his previous glories.  
  
Not even Squall could ignore him, now, that triumphant voice in his mind gloated.  
  
Still, there was something not-quite-right about the way this game was turning. Usagi's look of trusting vulnerability had surprised him, her acquiescence after he'd kissed her being almost disturbing after so much resistance.  
  
Somehow, Seifer was getting a feeling that he might not remain chess-master for much longer.  
  


**  
  


This had gone far enough, Usagi had decided. It felt like everyone was staring at her, and she wasn't completely paranoid by assuming so- word had spread like wild fire, and evidently it was almost scandalous.   
  
Although how college students could figure that a single kiss was supposed to be taboo, or whatever. It wasn't like they were the only person lip locking, or like they'd been at some holy place. It had only been in front of the vending machines, for goodness sake!  
  
Still, Usagi was losing her patience with the people around her. If her neighbors whispered any louder, she'd be able to take notes and relay them to Seifer word by word.   
  
Usagi sighed deeply, and tried once more to concentrate on her work. It wasn't too hard, or at least it shouldn't have been. But those girls were getting louder, and now they were giggling, and out of the corner of her eyes, she could see one of them pointing at her, in a very obvious manner..…  
  
God, it was just one kiss! And since when had her own personal business become everyone else's? And their obvious lack of consideration was really getting on her nerves.  
  
_It wasn't like we were even going out, anyhow,_ a sad, small voice in her admitted. Perhaps hanging around Squall when he obviously didn't want her around had been a mistake? Was it possible that she'd managed to wreck her hopes by trying the wrong method…?  
  
Usagi squeezed her eyes tight, fighting off the feelings of self-doubt. If only they would stop… Her anger rose inside, a bitter thorn that pricked her own soul while reaching out to sting them with its wrath.  
  
Usagi set down her pencil sharply, trying to vent some of her frustration before she bit their heads off. It didn't work, though- she had only made it to the count of '5' before they all giggled again.  
  
Usagi turned around in her seat so fast that her long hair snapped at them with an audible crack and made them jump- it was a shame, she thought, that it hadn't actually touched them. It probably would have hurt like a bitch.  
  
"If you're through with hashing through my personal life," she hissed at them, giving them her best glare. It must have worked, because they had the decency to blush, murmur their apologies, and work in absolute silence for the rest of the hour.  
  
She had thought that she might have felt satisfied after having taken her frustrations out on them, but no. No, it didn't work that way, instead she felt guilty. Guilty that she'd taken her anger out on people that weren't responsible for her problems, angry that Seifer had treated her the way he had, and angry at herself for letting him.  
  
And as much as she'd like to try and blame it on Seifer, it wasn't his fault, either. If she had just tried asking Squall out the old fashioned way- or not so old-fashioned, since she'd be doing the asking- she wouldn't be in so much trouble. Instead, she'd gone and opened a can of worms, and whatever karma she'd sent out was due to hit her any time now.  
  
The bell rang, and Usagi was thoroughly relieved. She was the first to dash out the hall and the building, one of the first in the parking lot. But sadly, she was not one of the first to get to lunch- her junker of a car had at last betrayed her. In fact, from the looks of things, she wouldn't be getting anywhere.  
  
The motor flipped, sputtered, and then died repeatedly. And despite Usagi's coaxing and persuasion and pleading and even the threats, it refused to do little more than that. In frustration, Usagi banged her head against the steering wheel, giving off a short 'toot' of the horn.  
  
She sat there in the car for a few minutes, unsure of what she should do. It was cold inside the car, but it wasn't much better outside- and at least it was a shelter from the bitter cold wind. She could go to the cafeteria and eat, but the slop that was served there wasn't much better than elementary school meals. It was too far to walk to any of the fast food restaurants, and she didn't have enough money for a cab…  
  
Usagi put her head in her hands and fought off tears of misery. _I promised myself I wouldn't cry anymore. I PROMISED myself…_ Usagi sniffled helplessly, feeling the first droplet coursing down her cheek.   
  
She brushed it away angrily, and glared down at her dashboard with equal fury. It wasn't the first time she'd broken her promise to herself, but she was getting better, and she was trying. _It's just been an overbearing day,_ she tried to reassure herself.  
  
She sighed to herself, and was about to try the ignition again when a knock resounded on the window of her door.  
  
Usagi looked up, shocked, and hoping to see Squall. _I can explain, I swear I can,_ she thought to herself desperately. Instead, she was face to face with Seifer, or so to speak, what with the window in between them.  
  
Usagi hesitantly opened her car door and stepped out, feeling more than a bit hostile with Seifer at the moment and grumpy. "What do you want," she asked, feeling wary. She couldn't help but distrust him, with that smirk on his face.  
  
His hands spread in a plaintiff gesture, as though to say he was both innocent and harmless. Neither of the words belonged in the same sentence with his names; it was a pure oxymoron as she was beginning to see.  
  
"It looks like your car's not going anywhere," he commented, stating what was purely fact.  
  
Usagi nodded hesitantly, feeling progressively vulnerable. What's he after this time?  
  
"So come to lunch with me," he stated simply, grabing her hand and attempting to drag her off.  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Usagi protested, wrestling her hand free from his grip. "I don't think so," she replied.  
  
"Huh? Why not," he asked, looking confused this time. Usagi cursed him for being so hard to read; she couldn't tell if he was being sincere or faking her.  
  
"Why? Oh, I don't know… Maybe because the last thing I need is for you to make the situation worse."  
  
"Make the situation worse? I don't understand, 'Sagi. It's just a game," he told her, nonchalantly.  
  
Usagi brushed a few stray strands of hair out of her face angrily. "Just a 'game," she bit out angrily. "Well, I suppose for you it is. But for me, this is really important, and all that's happened so far because of your idea is my reputation being flushed down the toilet."  
  
"Why do you say that," he asked her, eyeing her curiously.  
  
Usagi threw her hands into the air, feeling helpless. "I don't know, maybe because all I ever hear in the hallways are whispers with my name in it? Squall won't even talk to me," she finished, much softer than she'd started her argument.  
  
When she'd gone to the library to explain… he'd acted like she wasn't even there. Had brushed her off, hadn't even looked at her. As though he was so disgusted by her words and by her face that he couldn't bear to acknowledge her presence…   
  
Sudden movement caught her eye, and Seifer was reaching in to grab her bag. Usagi began to protest, but he staved her. "You're hungry, you're bound to be cold, and you're obviously upset. Let's get you something to eat, go somewhere a bit warmer than this, call a tow truck… and then we can talk about this."  
  
He began to lead her away with a firm hand pressed against the small of her back, and Usagi tried to protest her again… but even as she began, her stomach growled wantonly. _What's the use,_ she thought tiredly,_ if even my body's willing to betray me for food?  
  
_ So Usagi allowed him to escort her to his car, aware of the warm feeling on her back and the feeling that she was being watched at the same time.  
  


**  
  


Squall should have known. In all honesty, he'd kind of brought the whole situation on himself. If he hadn't been constantly pushing her away, hadn't been making her upset, giving her the cold shoulder…  
  
If he'd showed her that he actually did give a damn…  
  
If he hadn't ignored her in the library, feigning disinterest in her excuses…   
  
Oh, of course he'd been interested. He'd been interested and hurt and like a wounded animal, he'd lashed out at her in one of the few ways he knew how. He'd ignored her totally, shrugged off all her attempts of explanation.  
  
He hadn't been blind, though. He'd seen the look of hurt on her face, that said he'd managed to crush her. Perhaps completely, this time.  
  
_How many times do you have to screw up,_ his mind lectured. _First Rinoa, and now Usagi. What's it going to take…  
  
_ He'd wanted to apologize. It wasn't something he was good at- hell, he couldn't do it to save his life- but he'd wanted to try, anyhow. Usagi was good enough a person to look deeper that appearances, he thought.  
  
He'd gone outside to find her, and she'd still been there. She hadn't been alone, though. It figured that Seifer would be there.  
  
It was obvious by then that he'd missed some key part of the conversation. What he did understand was that Seifer was taking her out to lunch. She didn't so much as cast a glance in his direction as she was led away…  
  
Inside, he felt angry enough to be sick. Usagi was normally so good with people, at judging peoples' personalities despite appearances that sometimes contradicted them. That was why she wanted to be a therapist, she'd said- she was good at relating with people and helping them even if they wouldn't tell her what the problem was.  
  
_So just why is it that she can't see the truth about Seifer?  
  
_ Squall had forgiven the other boy a long time ago for trying to do what he'd done. Ultimately, the other boy had pretty much joined the occult led by an ambitious and rather frightening woman who had called herself Ultimacea. She'd nearly been the death of them all too many times, but in the end, they'd made it through. (1)  
  
Since then, Seifer'd had too many troubles trying to fit back into their circle of friends to be considered 'back to normal.' For whatever reason inside his mind- perhaps guilt, or maybe he'd simply been twisted to a point from which there was no return- he couldn't relate to them hardly anymore. And although Zell would make a remark that was out of line every once and a while, there wasn't a person not willing to accept Seifer.  
  
It had been about that time that Rinoa had left, and for several reasons. The first being that she needed someone who could love her truly in return, which had hurt him deeply- he loved her more than she could have possibly guessed.. The second, she said, was that she needed to grow, and in order to do that, she had to get away from the past. Apparently to her, they were a big symbol of the past to her.  
  
Despite Seifer's detachment to their group- in general- he was still considered their 'friend.' He had been since they were small children- the group had been formed for reasons beyond their control and they'd been through so much together that certain bonds had formed around them. Certainly, they'd never thought any of their number would leave.  
  
Rinoa had, though, and for a while there'd been a large and empty hole in the group. And while most everyone else was able to accept her leaving and move on- albeit painfully- Squall had been unable to. He'd become withdrawn again, and reclusive, not wanting anyone else to get too close to them.  
  
Selphie met Tsukino Usagi a year later, a girl who went to their college. Squall had thought that the girl wouldn't stick around for very long- newcomers didn't have a habit of going over very well with the group. However, over time, she had managed to wedge herself into their lives, and had become a good friend to them. She'd taken Rinoa's place, and…  
  
Wait. Taken Rinoa's place? Squall frowned to himself. Surely that wasn't all that Usagi was to him, right? A replacement for Rinoa?  
  


****  
  


(1) - I wanted to incorporate their past into this fic somehow to sort of show why they're so close in this fic, since it is AU. I couldn't exactly use the sorceress theme like the FF8 world does because that would alter a good deal of things. In the end, I finally decided to use my 'creative license' and take a few liberties.  
  
There. For the sake of getting this out soon, I've finished. People need to learn to be patient, however. I have people waiting for TVT to get updated and they don't whine at me.   
  
Anyhow, I hope you enjoyed, but I won't be able to update anything for a while. I'm working on a secret project, two joint projects, and all of the projects that need to be updated, so… give me a break, please. ^^;;;;  
  



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